I'll Do it Every Time

So here I am again: sitting in my office at work on 3 1/2 hours of sleep, doing something I absolutely should not be doing considering I have so much work to do, and considering that I am virtually certain to lose out on a substantial bonus because I won't have the 2004 books closed by the end of the month.  My right ear is ringing as loudly as ever, and although my cold's a bit better I am far from well.  I just ate a tuna sandwich from Circle K for breakfast.  Again. So what is the problem here?  Why don't I take better care of myself? Why don't I do what is good for me?

Because I have too much else to do, that's why.

I was up (almost) all night because until 10 PM Wednesday evening, I was busy working on the team paper that's due in class tonight.  Only two of my four teammates contributed any text or research to this paper. Probably 80% of the words are mine.  Again.  I think the previous week's paper was more like 90% my words.  And while I was working on this week's paper, Tuesday night and Wednesday night, from notes I did on Sunday and Monday, I was in IM with the one team member I do know.  She is angry that the other people aren't doing their part, and thinks we should complain to the instructor. But no, I think that would only reflect badly on us, as being unable to function properly in a team.  Bad enough that we had to beg our way onto this team in the first place.  Little did we know that two of its members would be such slackers.

So what am I supposed to do?  I've tried dropping hints, I've tried being a cheerleader, I've tried to state my position firmly but pleasantly.  They haven't responded.  They don't need to. They have me over a barrel. If they don't contribute, they know K. and A. and I will pick up the slack, because none of us want to finish our course work with anything less than an A in our final class. J's health is apparently so bad that she's been in the hospital over the weekend. I'm sorry about that, but UoP insists that you either show up and do the work or lose points, no matter what is going on.  I'm willing to cut her more slack than that, but if she's unable to do the work, weekafter week, then she should withdraw from the class.  I'm sorry, but the day my mom died (and you guys know what a big deal that was in my life), I was nevertheless in class, making a PowerPoint presentation with the rest of my team.  Another time, I managed to do a presentation despite literally having no voice at all.  (I made the computer talk for me.) If she's still in the class and on the team, J. should be able to provide at lease a token contribution, a couple of sentences perhaps.  And what is M.'s excuse? If I don't personally call (on top of all the emails) and beg for her input, she's off the hook?

So I put the team's stuff ahead of my individual work, and didn't start my individual assignments (other than the reading) until 10 PM on the night before class.  It turned out that the case study, based on an online simulation about settling interdepartmental strife to bring a product to market, was extremely long and difficult and complex. I finished it at 4:30 AM, after which I took a bath to wind down and give my many medications time to work.  Then I went to bed, still coughing and sniffling and waking John up.  Is this any way to run a life, or a marriage?  John certainly doesn't think so.

And of course today, I have to write my other individual paper at lunch, probably at Golden Corral.  Again. Regular customers there are getting used to seeing me typing away in there. It shouldn't be hard.  I'm going to write about the Tyco defendents in terms of obligations, ideals and consequences.

Two weeks from tonight, this course will be over.  After that, I'll probably never see J. or M. again, and what they do or don't do will no longer affect my life. Once that day comes, I fully intend to get adequate sleep, and maybe even get serious about dieting.

Gee, I hope that K., the one team member other than A. who actually pulls her weight, doesn't pick today to start reading this blog.  If she doesn't, I'm sure she'll be ticked off at my public complaining. M. and J. are friends of hers.  So why can't she get them to do the work?

Grumble, grumble.  Cough. Sniffle.  Yawn.

Back to work.

Karen